Sunday, March 27, 2011


Well not exactly but this will be as close as I get!  Ha, ha.

Let me start from the beginning.  I had all intentions to create cards to give to everyone at the cancer center but then was hit with chemo!  So I asked for help from my Utah Diva gals (my former SU group) and Splitcoaststampers (LOVE this site!) Well the support has been huge and I have received soo many beautiful thank you and birthday cards from friends and complete strangers!   THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU!! 

I love doing this and most of the time they already know who they are going to send their card to which is fun to hear about!  I also love all the happy smiles :)

I also leave a thank you card on the table for the next chemo patient with a note that says, " Have a great day I know you can use this. From one chemo buddy to another!"  I know that we all go through a lot of thank you cards b/c everyone is doing something for us during our time of need.  I know I feel blessed by the support I have received!!

So last time I received chemo a lady delivered a bouquet of daffodils to me and in return I gave her a thank you card.  I remember her saying, "I was giving you a gift and you are now giving me one, how sweet!"

Well to my surprise that nice lady returned five minutes later with a camera crew, she is a  news reporter and wanted to do a story about my cards.  So here is my 1 minute of fame! Pretty cool, huh.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Lila loves...

her baby dolls!!

I can tell you this girl stuff is soo much fun! I have had a blast playing dress up with her too.
Here are some adorable pics of Lila playing with her dolls. She is such a cuddly little gal and loves caring for her babies. She will be an amazing mom one day!  Here she is practicing! :)

Oh and the cradle is mine that my grandmother Joan had made for me years ago. I am thankful that my dad kept this so I could pass it down to my daughter. I am hoping next time grandma comes to visit I can have her paint Lila's name on it too.

 This is my favorite picture of her!
 Blowing a kiss to her baby.
 Patting her babies back.
 Pressing her babies belly to hear the baby giggle.
 Hugging her baby!
 Rocking her baby.
I think we have another child with an eye fetish! Ha!

Thursday, March 17, 2011


Why, because God created me just that way! 

I think it is funny that some (a small group) of peope think that you can't be loud, extrovert, and sometimes obnoxious and not be a christian.  Doesn't that surprise you!?   It does me.   I remember one time at a church many years ago we had to fill out a survey about where our needs would best be met.  The lady that was seeing where they should place me looked up and said to me, "I am surprised by your answers I didn't realize you had such a strong faith?"  To this day I can't get that statment out of my mind.  I was shocked, stunned, amazed that someone of her cailber would say such a thing.  I mean she didn't really know me personally.  I do like to have fun and I am loud and I say it like it is but I can't change ME that is DNA genetics and frankly wouldn't change! 

My faith in God has only increased with each obsticle my family and I have faced.  I can't imagine walking through life and not hearing the Holy Spirit that we each have inside of us.  I didn't realize my Holy Spirit was even talking to me until I lost Graycee then in reflection realized God was talking to me to prepare me for the upcoming loss of Graycee (stillborn at 38 weeks).  I also told you about the time where he was preparing me for breast cancer.  I hope and pray that each one of you can find your Holy Spirit!  It is a powerful tool that I reach for, listen to, and react to almost on a daily basis.  So yes I am fighting cancer but I am just as excited to see what God has in store for me at the end of this journey and that is exciting!

You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you Acts 1:8

Does that mean I am perfect, absolutely NOT!  I put my foot in my mouth CONSTANTLY, I lose patience with my children, I cuss sometimes, and I told Brian that Cancer SUCKS, but that doesn't mean I am not Christian.  I know when I have fallen off and I work on getting back on that fence.  Here are some tools that I use to get back on.  These tools really help me get back on track and I know that when I am currently doing these activities that my attitude has changed, I am more patient, I am watching my words. I hope these help you too!

1. Read the bible
2. Look up verses that will help me
3. Read christian books
4. Start/Join a bible study
5. Right now I am reading Standing Up For Your Child without stepping on toes by Vicki Caruana! (See I know my faults and try to prepare myself in how to handle the situation in a christian manner! :)


Friday, March 4, 2011

My pill organizer


I was once a gal who couldn't swallow pills without having a mouth full of water and still gagging as they went down.  Now not so much! I can swallow 3 small pills at ONCE.   Big steps my friends, ha!  Well I take anywhere from 16-19 pills per day.  I also receive  a shot in the stomach everytime I have chemo and another one in the stomach every month.

My port was placed in KC on Monday and that went smooth. They were able to access the port on Wed. 16th (SWEET Lila's 1st birthday!!) and I had my second treatment of chemo. The Dr. walked in and said, "Well we about killed you, huh!" I said I felt like it and she said she wouldn't do that again. We have tweaked chemo and I am no longer taking Taxotere and they reduced the doses on both of the other chemo drugs (Epirubicin, and Cytoxan). I will have chemo every two weeks now with my 3rd treatment on March 2nd. I have lost all my hair but can't keep my hats on b/c princess keeps pulling them off. :) 

I did have my 3rd treatment on the 2nd and they have bumped up the Epirubicin and Cytoxan to 100% so hopefully this weekend won't be too bad!  We will see.  My 4th treatment in on March 16th.

The tumor on the right breast took the ultrasound 35 min. to find it b/c it had shrunk soo much. :) The left tumor was measuring 7cm x4cm and that has shrunk IN HALF!!! It was now measuring 3cm x3cm. Our oncologist doesn't get too excited about things but yesterday she was grabbing my breast saying, "It feels like it evaporated!" Needless to say we are ecstatic of the news and continue to pray that we keep having positive results! The food, calls, emails, cards, have all been wonderful. We feel the love of the community, family, friends, blog friends and are humbled by all the outpouring of love and support we have received, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

Here is a scripture I read A LOT!

Nothing that happens is beyond the Lord's domain. Nothing can touch us that the heavenly Father can't deal with, and no event can ruin His plan for good in our lives.  All things, He promises, will work together for our good, if we love Him.  (Romans 8:28)  I LOVE HIM and I know he walks with me in my journey!