Our sweet Graycee

Today we celebrate our daughter Graycee's 7th birthday. Our precious angel was born August 13, 2003 at 2:59pm. She weighed 5 lbs. 8 oz. and was 19 inches long. As I look back I am in awe at how we overcame all the obstacles at such a young age and newlyweds none the less. I am thankful that our spiritual connection with god was sooo strong and he guided us through this life changing experience.

I was looking at my calendar to see what/when were some firsts for our new family:

January 28th-1st sonogram
March 15th-Our Wedding
June 5th-Lamaze classes
June 14th and 20th-Baby showers
June 25th-1st time feeling hiccups
July 25th-Last day of work (Pawnee Mental Health)
July 30th-First day in Ferguson Missouri
August 5th-Met Dr. Durer our new OB Dr. (Baby not breech, No C-section)
August 12th-Called Dr. Durer
August 13th-Delivered Graycee
August 14th-Dismissed from hospital
August 16th-Memorial service at 10am
August 18th-Brian started first day of Optometry school

One special book that I look at every year is from our families. As we were giving birth to Graycee our families were writing special notes to us. I cherish those words from each one of them and hold them close. We are so thankful for our family and friends that have supported and loved us. THANK YOU ALL!

As I look at the picture of us smiling with tears in our eyes I can honestly tell you that I feel blessed to have been able to hold her, love her, and spend time with her.

I will end with this scripture:

We can rejoice too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us-they help us learn to endure. And endurance develops strength of character in us, and character strengthens our confident expectation of salvation. And this expectation will not disappoint us. For we know how dearly god loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

-Romans 5:3-5

Memorial Day...My version

So I am going to stick my neck out and talk to you about my thoughts on Memorial weekend. In doing so I am just voicing my opinion and hope that everyone can appreciate, respect, and most of all not be offended. So here goes...

I remember getting soo exciting about Memorial weekend when I was younger. It meant that we were going to have an extra long weekend at the lake house sitting in the sun. We had sooo much fun! We would play sand volleyball, go boating, and drive around golf carts. Let me just say our "lake house" meant a trailer with golf carts, air conditioner, and most of all phone and cable. It was the life!

However all that changed for me when I lost our daughter, Graycee. We now spend it by driving to Manhattan to visit our daughter. We stop by Hobby Lobby and pick out some flowers to replace the winter ones, grab some baby wipes to clean up her head stone, and I sit, cry, and think. My thoughts are always the same; how old she would be, what she would look like, talk like, and how beautiful she was.

Memorial day is for remembering the fallen heroes of our country and I haven't forgotten why we celebrate this holiday! This is just my version of the holiday now. I use this time to reflect on the past and focus on my future with my family. Memorial day is full of raw emotions for me as I feel sad, happy, scared, and thankful all at the same time.

This is Graycee's beautiful headstone that Brian and I created. I remember telling Brian I wanted the sparkly pink vase and him giving me that are you serious look. WE however love the pink vase and he comments on how fitting it is every year! The picture is of our hands. This photo makes me smile! Brian and Graycee have the exact same line pattern on the palm of their hands.

How do you celebrate/remember Memorial weekend?